The Write Road - SEW, KISS me

"Some people have a way with words. Other people ... uh ... not have way." Steve Martin - banjo player, philosopher, funny guy. My role model.

[Copywriter/editor/offfice janitor’s note: Since I’m just getting this newsletter launched, the timing might be awkward at first. Trying to get the schedule balanced between the newsletter, my client work, family times … and naps.

I’d apologize, but it might actually make a good topic to discuss later. (There’s a story in everything.) And that info might come in handy as you launch your own newsletter. You are going to create your own, right?]

Close Encounter of the Caffeinated Kind

Back when I was a budding young copywriter, I had a chat with my old drinking buddy Leo Da Vinci over a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

I was nursing my usual: “coffee, black, no sugar, no cream.” Wild man, right?

He, on the other hand, was quaffing down some sort of fancy Italian brew. I think he called it a cup o’ chinos, or something like that. The gal who brought it to him grinned as she pointed to a little smiley face she’d made with the cream.

Whatever.

Anyway, we were talking about one of his newest inventions. At a lull in the conversation, I leaned back and stared thoughtfully at him.

“What’s on your mind?” he questioned.

“Old friend, you know I’m starting out as a copywriter,” I stuttered.

He nodded and motioned me to continue.

“Well, here’s my dilemma. I want to sound intelligent and refined to my clients and readers,” I mumbled. “But I don’t know how!”

“Do you have any suggestions, oh wise one?”

Leo silently rolled up his drawings, glanced around warily, and whispered his answer in my ear.

Then he gulped down his remaining “chino,” wiped his mouth with his sleeve … and was gone.

Left me holding the bill.

The jerk.

Keep it simple, Steve-O

That was his secret advice to me: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Okay. I made some of that story up. Well … a lot of it.

Alright, all of it! Sheesh! Are you happy now?

But there is a Starbucks close to my office. And I do like my coffee nekkid.

And Leo totally did say that. Look it up if you don’t believe me.

It’s one of my favorite quotes from the legendary Leonardo Da Vinci. In fact, I’m so enamored with it that it graces the footer of every page on my copywriter’s website.

Right above it sits my mantra: SEW - Simple Effective Writing.

And that three-word mantra—Simple Effective Writing—has been my guiding light for writing prose, copy and marketing content for decades.

It’s simply … sophisticated.

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A Writing Target to Hit

KISS (not the band, the acronym).

Keep it Simple and Succinct.

It seems like I’ve seen this meme popping up a lot around social media lately. I’ll bet you’ve seen it, too.

Don't use a big word when a singularly un-loquacious and diminutive
linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.

I laugh. You laugh, we all laugh together. But …

Have you checked your own copy lately?

I looked back at some of my early work and was appalled.

Not that it was bad. It was … horrid!

Sure, it was technically perfect. All my eyes were crossed and T’s dotted. But it read like some kind of technical drivel that nobody could understand because nobody was supposed to understand it.

In my line of work, technical terms are sometimes a necessary evil. It just goes with the territory. But …

The whole thing shouldn’t be written that way or you’ll put your reader into a coma. Using big technical terminology and convoluted explanations doesn’t really make you sound smarter. Sometimes it’s quite the opposite.

When it comes down to the nuts and bolts of writing any kind of content, the overuse of high-sounding phraseology (ooh … hadn’t used that word in a while. I kinda like it), makes you come off sounding like some sort of effete snob.

I have a term for those unnecessary technical terms. It’s not exactly what your thinking, by the way.

I’ll let this excerpt from my website explain.

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The Seamstress and the Copywriter

“Could you say that again . . . in English this time?”

No doubt you’ve heard that phrase before. In fact, I’d imagine that you’ve said it yourself a time or two. I know I have on many occasions. And most of the time, it involves my wife.

You see, she’s a seamstress and is quite good at her craft. She’s got the tools to do all kinds of fancy stitches and cool stuff. And she’s always taking classes to improve her skills.

Since her sewing room is right next to my office, I often find myself watching her sew, spellbound by her handiwork. The machine hums and her fingers fly over the cloth, turning a piece of fabric into a work of art. (That ought to get me a few points!)

Enter the dumb question!

And then it happens. On the way to the kitchen to grab another cup of coffee, I’ll stop to get a better look. Even though I should know better, I’ll open my mouth and ask the inevitable dumb question, “What are you doing?” Stopping briefly, she’ll launch into a detailed explanation about what she’s doing and how she’s doing it.

But it usually goes way over my head, confusing me with all that seamstressing terminology. Sheepishly I’ll ask her, “I’m confused . . . could you say that again, in plain English this time?”

Seeing the dumbfounded look on my face, she’ll put it into words that even this copywriting “genius” can understand. And we’ll both laugh because it’s really kind of comical …

[This space intentionally left blank, heh heh heh.
Keeping the middle part for myself. Keep going.]

… Slay your Jargon-naut

Wow, spell checker went nuts on that one. But really, one of the major problems with a lot of business writing is that it’s riddled with jargon. The good old Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a juggernaut as a massive, unyielding force or object that crushes everything in its path.

That’s a good definition for jargon too. If the jargon-naut invades your copy, it could crush your chances for success.

My mantra’s meaning has always been to keep it plain and simple. Notice that I didn’t say simplistic. I’m just saying that your writing needs to be easy to understand. In fact, the easier your writing is to read, the more believable your reader will find it.

And if they believe you . . .

Got to go for now. I hear Momma’s sewing machine humming away in the next room. Time to go ask another dumb question!

End of side story. We now return to our regularly scheduled newsletter.

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In upcoming issues, we’ll talk about some tools available and some techniques possible for making your content and copy more readable. Some are free and already at your fingertips. Others will be an investment in your writing progress.

But in the next issue, we’re going to learn how to turn your written text into a melodious word symphony. And I’ll show you how to ensure your audience reads it the right way.

Gotta go! Have a luncheon with my friend Vinnie to discuss painting. You know him, right? Vinnie VanGogh.

Just kidding.

It’s music with Mozart at a matinee..

Type to you soon!

Steve M.